


Shian's Middlemarch

by Shianhygge



Series: Shian's Middlemarch [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Broken Promises, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shianhygge/pseuds/Shianhygge
Summary: An Anon on tumblr read my Wrench Angst and sent me a request saying this: "3 words: NOCTIS. ANGST. PLEASE. wreck my heart like you did with wrench." So... yeah... Unrequited love...





	Shian's Middlemarch

You followed the cries and the yells. The sound of metal on metal and impacts against the walls. The first thing you saw after bursting through the doors was your father’s dead body, pierced and attached to the wall right across from you, his own sword impaling his slumped body. Then, heard the groan of metal as the hidden elevator door was forced open by a menacing figure in demonic armor, and you immediately gained an idea of how your father died. You watched your father’s murderer jump down the elevator shaft, and with determined brows set, you ran further into the room, stopping when you heard the pained cries of a man cloaked in white armor, his left arm burnt almost to dust.

And you almost left the High Commander, cursing his allegiance to Niflheim, but with the man’s pained eyes staring up at you with a pleading look, you grimaced and cursed, quickly kneeling beside Ravus before your blade descended to cut the remains of his useless arm off, and tearing off a piece of your shirt to wrap around the remaining stump, staunching the bleeding. But when you heard the distant sound of metal colliding within the shaft behind, you stood once more, offering kind words to Ravus, “Leave and seek medical attention. I must fulfill my duty.”

“You’ll die if you fight against Glauca, Y/N.” Ravus warned despite the pain in his body. Ah, so the former Prince of Tenebrae knew your name, how flattering.

A coy smirk formed on your face in an attempt to stave off the doom upon you. “Why, High Commander Ravus, I didn’t think you’d worry about the enemy.”

“Don’t joke about dying!” The white hair man snarled fiercely, clearly offended that you were teasing him.

The smirk left you face and you breathed a heavy sigh, staring up at your father’s dead body, and allowing a few tears to fall from your eyes. “We are the Amicitia. We are the King’s personal shield.” you then turned to look at the injured Ravus, smiling with resignation, “Gladiolus and I have embraced our duties a long time ago. And I refuse to abandon my king.” With it said, you gave a solemn bow to a man that would be your enemy, and your father’s body before jumping down the elevator shaft yourself. Thinking, with regret, the state of your relationship with the man you loved most, Prince Noctis.

(*a few months prior)

_The two of you were in the Citadel study, sat down at an old, but sturdy oak desk. The Prince and you could be found in this room nearly everyday when Noctis was tasked with diplomatic studies, and you were free to help. During these times, there was a usual habit of getting work done, but it was established as a time where Noctis could speak with you about certain matters, a continuation from before you two graduated high school, where Noctis and you would hang out and just talk. But, after eight years you had had enough. “We can’t keep doing this, Noctis.” It was a long time since you’ve called him by his actual name, and the sudden change caused the prince to immediately turn his head towards you, confusion set on his fair features. “You can’t keep coming to me to talk about Luna.”  
_

_Dark brows furrowed, knit together, not understanding, “We’re friends. I should be able to talk to you about my problems, Y/N” You’d liked him since you guys were twelve, and he was oblivious for a good eight years. Noctis hadn’t noticed that you’d been hurting all these years._

_You were Y/N Amicitia, younger sibling to Gladio and older sibling to Iris. You’ve known Noctis since you were both in diapers, and as cliche as it sounds, you fell in love with him. You were his confidante, the person that listened to his feelings and thoughts, the person that would always support him. But while Noctis confided in Ignis about his more professional worries, you were always the ear that he went to when he needed to talk about Luna._

_Lunafreya. You were sick and tired of hearing that name._

_Your less than secret affections for the prince caused you to resent the young Oracle’s name. It was rubbing salt in the already gaping wound. That no matter what you could do, Noctis’s love belonged to her. And it hurt, stung even, when Noctis went to talk to you about missing Luna. Now, after twelve years of how Luna was “wonderful” and “beautiful” and how much he missed her, you could stand it no longer._

_Solemnly, you averted your eyes, afraid of Noctis’s response. “But not when it’s hurting me, Noctis.”_

_Noctis frowned, displeased, “Why would talking about Luna hurt you?”_

_You groaned, growing a bit frustrated about Noctis’s obliviousness. “Gosh, Noctis, you really haven’t noticed in all these years? I refuse to believe that you aren’t perceptive in the least.” then the words came blurting out, “I’ve loved you for the past eight years, Noctis. ****And at his startled face, you knew that it had never even occurred to him. With a bitter smile, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, not fully able to look him in the face. “Were you really so blind?”_

_“So this is why you don’t want to talk about Luna? Because you’re jealous.” Noctis’s voice started low, a frustrated growl.  
_

_Exasperated, you whipped your head to look at him, refuting the statement, “No! I don’t want to talk about Lunafreya because I’m getting hurt for it!”_

_Noctis stood up from his seat, the wood making a high pitched creak along the floor. “What?! You wish that I liked you more than Luna, right? You wish that I would love you, Y/N?”_

_This was the reason that you never really wanted to address this to Noctis, despite the hurt. And mention of Luna, in any negative way, even if it wasn’t specifically directed at the Oracle, would set your friend off on an ire filled rant that would get out of hand. “Noctis, stop!”_

_“Well, I don’t! I don’t love you, and I never will! Get it through your stupid head! If i didn’t love you when we were children, then I’ll never love you!” Noctis yelled, banging his fist against the table. “You’re always so selfish, Y/N! And if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine! You won’t have to speak to me again!”_

_You weren’t able to get another word out before Noctis stormed out of the study, leaving you in silence, a defeated air about you. “This is why we can’t have nice things, Y/N.” You whispered to yourself, fists clenched and head bowed, eyes threatening to tear up. “Now you’ve lost it all.”_

~~~~

You’d always been scared of falling. It didn’t matter from what height, the dropping sensation in your gut was enough to set you on edge. And even though there was light peeking into the elevator shaft through the hole that General Glauca made at the bottom, simply descending in near darkness was unsettling. About halfway down (you had counted the short seconds), you pulled your sword out and lunged into the metal walls surrounding you, slowing your descent with a painful jerk, and you almost slammed into the metal edges.

You were scared. You wanted to run from this fight. Wanted to find Iris and leave Insomnia. Wanted to find Gladio and hug him. And you wanted to see Noctis. You were shaken out of your reverie when the distinct sound of lightning hit a body, and you jumped down the remaining height, landing in the top of the crushed elevator. And while you noticed, to your alarm, that the king was single-handedly fighting Glauca, you also noticed the source of your darkest feelings, protected behind a crystal shield, next to Nyx. But now was not the time, and it never will be, because Noctis was destined to marry Lunafreya, and you… you were destined to serve the king.

So you lunged towards the hulking general with your blade drawn, “Please run, My King. I’ll hold him off.” You pled, using all the strength in your body to block Glauca’s retaliation, his great sword clashing against your own. You wouldn’t be able to parry the attack, he was simply that much stronger than you, unnaturally so.

“No, Y/N. It is you who must run.” King Regis stood from his crouched position with some difficulty. “I will not allow Clarus’s child to die at the hands of this monster just to protect and old man!”

“With all due respect, Your Highness,” you grunted, jumping backwards from Glauca to stand beside Regis, “I accepted the consequences when I pledged myself to service the crown.” You grinned at your Uncle Regis, “I’ve got your back, old man.”

To stand beside the man who helped raise you… there could be worst ways to go.

~~~~~

_You stood at attention next to Cor Leonis, posture straight as an arrow and alert. As Crownsguard, you held a very important task alongside your partner, who had been Cor for nearly three years, ever since you and the Prince had graduated from high school. And yes, you were still referring to the Prince by his title. It had been months since you had last spoken to him on friendly and personal terms. It was probably for the best, what happened between you and the Prince. You had always been destined to serve as his and his father’s shield. Personal attachments would only make it that much more painful should you die on the line of duty. So, you left the situation be, continuing your duties professionally despite Gladio, Prompto, and Ignis’s attempts at mending what had been._

_Distant chattering came from down the hall, of happy laughter from your friends. And all you could think to do was stand straighter and mold your face into an impassive expression as the Prince and your friends walked past you, most of the group shooting smiles at you. But you face didn’t change. Not in front of them. Not when the Prince wouldn’t acknowledge all that has changed._

_When they had disappeared down the hall, you felt a hand firmly clasped on your shoulder, “I realize that I had been the one to tell you to take your job more seriously, Y/N, but if you must sacrifice your friendships, then you should rethink your actions. You are still young, you should not be putting everything on the line just yet.” Your partner advised, his voice as grave and serious as ever, but with a slight hint of regret hidden._

_You shook your head and smiled kindly at the older man, who had been looking out for you from day one on duty. “You misunderstand, Cor.” he remained silent, willing you to continue, “It was not I who ended the friendship, but it was I who accepted what came to be.”_

_“He did not take kindly to your feelings.”_

_All you gave was a silent chuckle, the slighted exhale of breath. “No. But it was not right of me to impose upon him, regardless.” You smiled up, “So like you to notice my feelings when the Prince himself had not known all these eight years, Cor. I’m glad that I have you by my side.”_

~~~~

You swung your greatsword forward, clashing with General Glauca’s as the King shot a bolt of lightning at the hulking man. You decided that you would fight by the King’s side and be his shield, fighting with nearly the same style as your father, always directing the focus from the King towards yourself. But no matter what maneuver and guard you put up, Glauca always deflected, and you were thrown back with cruel words shot at you. How you were foolish to defend a king. How you should not throw away your young life away for a man who was already dead. But you tried, damn it. Because Noctis was expecting to see his father again after he got married. So damn it, you would try. You were still young. Still inexperienced, though. And you begged in your heart for Cor to come find you. Because you were scared that you wouldn’t be able to protect the King. That you wouldn’t be able to fulfill your promises to Noctis and Gladio.

~~~~

_The sun glared down on you all, its heat threatening to melt you, who stood in full black next to the Regalia, which had been prepped by your partner. And now, you watched as King Regis bid his final farewells to his son before sending him and the others off to Altissia. Lunafreya had won Noctis’s heart long ago, but to have to stand tall and watch as he left to go be with her, was a bitter slap in the face. But you bit your cheek and endured it, bowing to the Prince as he approached the car._

_“Y/N.” you heard him speak, and you didn’t answer his call at first, but then you noticed the plea in his voice. “Please. I don’t want to leave Insomnia with us being like this.” And the next thing you knew, you were pulled into warm arms, dark blue hair brushing against your cheek._

_“I thought you didn’t want to be friends.” You mumbled, trying not to give in, but finding comfort within Noctis’s arms like you had when you were children. “It’s better like this, right? Not having to be around each other. It makes things easier for us.”_

_His arms tightened around you considerably, “Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Of course it’s not! I’d rather us be like we were than not have you at all.” there was a brief moment of silence and Noctis let you go in order to look you in the eyes. “Look. I’m sorry that I was being unreasonable. I didn’t know you were hurting so much, and I didn’t take the time to realize how you must have felt all these years. And instead, I buried my head in the ground and acted stubborn.” There was regret in his blue eyes, “I didn’t come to my senses until Gladio nearly beat me up.” from the background, you could hear your older brother mutter that he would still beat him up if you didn’t forgive the idiot prince, and you laughed at Gladio’s antics. “So, I’m sorry.” Noctis apologized with an embarrassed blush on his face, his eyes trying not to look away, still the ever so shy boy that he was when you were children._

_You could only laugh and throw your arms around your best friend, hugging it out like you did before he found out about your feelings, “Of course, Noctis.”_

_“So… is it too much to ask if you’ll come with us? There’s one more seat in the car.” Noctis asked hopefully, a shrugged offered towards the car, that boyish grin on his lips._

_“As much as I’d like to travel with you guys, I have a duty to your father, Noctis.” You regretfully turned down, nodding your head towards Cor, who stood at attention ever so diligently. “But if Cor lets me, I’ll be at your wedding.”_

_“Seriously?!” Noctis exclaimed in excitement and hope, “You promise?!”_

_You nodded with a smile, “Yeah. I promise. Now get going! You don’t want your lady love waiting too long!” You exclaimed with laughter, shoving Noctis into the backseat of the Regalia before shutting the door._

_“Hey! Y/N! Better be in one piece the next time I see you, okay?” You brother yelled from inside the Regalia._

_“I promise.”_

~~~~

You gave a surprised grunt when you were propelled back once more. But when you saw General Glauca getting ready to impale the tired King, you sprinted forwards in the hopes of protecting the man who had helped raise you, throwing the King to the floor with a rough shove before being roughly stopped.

At first, you felt nothing. You simply wondered why Lunafreya, Nyx, and King Regis were staring at you in horror. And then you glanced down to see the great sword impaled through you. “No. No. No.” You muttered, feeling the blood coming out of your lungs, making it difficult to breath. The blade is yanked out and you are thrown forward with a kick, colliding with the crystal barrier in the room. From behind, you could hear the King struggle, his desperate and horrified calls of your name, which fell on muffled ears, for your dying eyes were now focused on the woman in front of you.

“Lunafreya.” Her eyes settled on your form and they, you noticed, were a beautiful blue and as kind and wise as Noctis had described many times. “My name… is Y/N Amicitia…” The recognition within her eyes told you that Noctis had thought to tell her about you. “I hope that you an Noctis live happily. And… please….” you gasped, trying to draw enough breath to speak despite the blood pooling around you, “Please…” you closed your eyes at how hard it was because you were never going to have to leave your loved ones, “Please tell Noctis and my brother… that… I’m sorry.” You heard the King fall behind you, and you knew that the crystal barrier wouldn’t hold much longer. So, you stood, with all your strength, and grabbed at your sword, “Run!” You commanded her, turning in your place to face off against Glauca once more. “Find Noctis! Live!”

You heard the sounds of a door closing and you heaved a sigh, clashing with the General, but failing at once, your body weak. But despite the hulking menace in front of you, you would fight until your dying breath. Because you wanted, more than anything, for Noctis to be happy.

_“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise, Noctis.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry... (*gives tissue box) Here. Thanks for reading!


End file.
